Long way to go

So, it's been a while. Apologies to all the friends and family who have asked me what's going on, why I haven't updated this blog. To quell any concerns: I am fine. I am actually ridiculously happy here, enjoying Berlin more and more every day as the weather gets warmer and the friendships grow stronger.

Since it's been a couple months since I posted, time to play catch-up. For starters, I moved into a new flat last weekend, from Mitte to Prenzlauer Berg. It's my third apartment since getting here at the beginning of February, and I am sick of moving. We've been subletting, since we don't have furniture, but this new place is basically unfurnished. It makes me think that our next place should be unfurnished too, because we have had to purchase a few things for this flat. Also, I've been buying a lot of things in orange: toothbrush, toilet paper, sheets, pillows...

And to pay for all of the orange things I have been buying, I have a contract job with an old co-worker's company. It's basically more technical writing for software, but this time it's research on how their help system should be done, instead of writing the help itself. The job reminds me of why I don't like working - it takes time away from other things I wish I could focus on, like my own writing - but it pays the bills. Berlin is so cheap, once I finish this job it should cover my living expenses for at least a couple months.

That's one thing I love about this city: Berliners seem realize that there's a whole lot more to life than just working to make rent. Cheers to that, and I do mean Prost!

My days are full of music, and my nights, and days again...I love techno, and dancing has always been one of my most favorite things in the world, so I am definitely in the right city. I can go out any night of the week and dance until my feet hurt while listening to music that I love. Some recent highlights, without being too redundant:

- Rhythm & Sound live @ Panoramabar
- Ricardo Villalobos and Zip @ Club de Visionaire
- Carabina 3030 @ Berghain
- Ryan Crosson @ Watergate
- Rich Hawtin, Heartthrob, and Magda in an underground atomic bunker
- Matt Dear and Konrad Black @ Watergate
- Lee Curtiss @ Bar 25
- Luciano @ Arena
- Pheek @ Cassiopia
- Shaun Reeves, Miss Fitz, and Konrad Black @ Steinhaus
- Atomly @ Zentrale Randlage

Berlin is so full of good music, it's amazing. Sometimes I forget that there's another world here besides the techno scene; I spend so much time hanging out at people's houses watching people work on making music, and talking about music...it's almost difficult to not start making music yourself.

And so I made my first song. It's for the tribute compilation cd that's being put out for the one year anniversary of Alicia's death. I still can't believe that it's been a year. The cd is being put out on Dave Siska's new label Reverie; all of the songs on it use sounds that Alicia recorded, and posted on her Audible Frequency site.

I'm actually going back to Chicago on June 1, for the cd release party, but primarily for my brother's graduation. When my mom offered to buy me a ticket back for the weekend, I wasn't sure if I wanted to go. However, I'm really looking forward to it now. It'll be great to see my family and friends again, and to get a few more of the things I left in my mom's basement (yay, to wear something other than the same six tank tops all the time!). It's strange to have everything I own fit into two bags, but pretty liberating too.

I don't want to accumulate too much here, but I have accepted that I want to stay a little longer than originally intended, probably until winter really sets in. I've made some good friends here, and am so comfortable in Berlin. After four months I feel like I'm just now really getting the feel of the city, and I'm not ready to leave yet. So I can postpone departure; it's best to change plans when they feel like they should be altered instead of sticking to the original out of stubbornness.

I am still traveling though; on Friday I fly to Paris for a few days, and then head to a small town in the south of France for a family wedding. I haven't been there in five years, so it should be fun; plus I get to see my dad and stepmother. It'll be strange to leave Berlin, but probably good; hard to believe I'll be gone two weeks (a week in France, back in Berlin for one day, and then off to Chicago for a week). Time flies here, but it's so dense and packed: a week seems so long, because there's always something going on, always something to do.

And there are always visitors. Berlin living so far seems quite communal; we all take care of each other. Crash spaces are provided, drinks are shared, and food...I have never been anywhere that has such instant karma as Berlin. With people always hanging out though, there's not much downtime; I actually started jogging about a month ago because it gave me time to clear my head. That, and I can't afford a gym here.

I still practice yoga; my new room is huge, big enough to actually start teaching again, which is exciting. I had a friend over today and taught her a few things; when I get back from Chicago, I'd like to start having regular yoga sessions here for friends. It'll be good for them, and for me. We could all stand to be a little more grounded.

Posted by j3s at 02:07 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

I've been here almost two months now, which is kind of hard to believe. The first week in Berlin was a little difficult, but I've been having a ridiculous amount of fun since then, and am surprisingly not homesick at all. I miss my family and some friends and Mexican food, but I'm really glad to be here and don't want to go back to Chicago.

What helps, perhaps, is that I've adapted to several of the small cultural differences that seemed so weird at first. There are a ton of other things I have yet to figure out and get used to, but here are some of the things I am cool with now:

- I don't reach for my returned change anymore from the cashier's hand when purchasing goods; cashiers set it down on a tray.
- I don't cross against red lights much.
- In restaurants, you pay the bill when it's presented to you, telling them how much you want to pay (round up a couple bucks for tip), instead of leaving the money on the table.
- I no longer look for light switches inside bathrooms, instead turning them on before I go in
- Most importantly: I can handle crowds better now.

The crowd thing occurred to me on Sunday night (well, Monday morning) at Beatstreet, a really fun occasional Sunday afterparty that sometimes goes until Tuesday. At the first one I went to shortly after my arrival, I felt kind of awkward. German crowds are different: there's more pushing than I was used to in Chicago. It's not rude here though, it's just how people get around, not just in clubs but on sidewalks too. At first it bothered me, until one day I realized it didn't. I'm not sure if I move through crowds differently now, but I don't even notice that much pushiness anymore.

Anyway, Beatstreet was a blast, an interesting juxtaposition between my first one and Sunday's. Also, I was there with a bunch of friends, and knew more people there, which was nice.

Going out in Berlin is quite cyclical, at least to hear techno. On weekends I have to pick between four or five DJs and musicians I want to see, but then everyone rests up on Mondays and Tuesdays, so nothing really happens until at least Wednesday. Thus I was expecting to not go out last night (Monday), but ended up doing something really different: I went to a rock show. I rocked out.

Someone I had met in Chicago a few years ago, a friend of Gabe's that I hung out with Sunday, was on tour as the lighting director of a rock band I had never heard of. He invited Atom and I to come to the show on Monday; since I've heard almost nothing but techno since I got here, I went for it. Turns out I didn't recognize any of Staind's songs, but that's ok, I still had a good time.

I'm glad I went, the whole experience was pretty awesome. We hung out by the tour buses before the show, drinking bad American beer (why go to Germany and then stock your tour bus with crappy beer?). Once the show started, I watched it from the lighting booth, which was the best spot in the house. Unfortunately I forgot to bring my camera, which I kicked myself for about thirty times. The soundboards alone were really sweet and made me want to photograph them, oh well.

Afterwards we hung out for a little bit, ate some catered cake, and stole a jar of peanut butter off the tour bus. I don't normally go for crunchy - I'm a smooth girl - but wow it was nice to eat Jif again.

Posted by j3s at 05:57 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

I'm back from a week running around London and Amsterdam. I had an absolute blast, especially because I met up with a dozen friends from Chicago, New York, London, and Taiwan, but I was really surprised at how much I missed Berlin. I've barely been here a month and a half, but it feels like home. Strange that it happened so quickly.

My prepaid phone ran out of money on the first day I was away, and I only checked email twice in the entire week, so it was the most unplugged I've been in a very long time, probably since the month I spent in Ghana.

As opposed to the last time I was there, I really enjoyed London this time around. We stayed at Kris's awesome flat in Hoxton, where we met up with Nicole, Brian, Joanna, Tim, Sam, Jude, and Lauren. I also got to see Aidan, who lives in London, which was really nice because I hadn't seen him in a while.

I was a bit overwhelmed at first; it had been some time since I had been surrounded by a lot of people who have known me for a while. So I got very excited (and possibly a bit obnoxious), as well as loquacious, which was funny because as several people pointed out, my English had deteriorated a little. (Though after a week of talking to my American friends all day every day, it's back to normal.) We walked around a ton, rode the tube, shopped at some markets, ate a lot, drank a lot, and goofed off. So much fun.

While we were in London we went to a dubstep/grime night at Old Blue Last, where David Banner played. Saturday evening I went to the Tate Modern and saw the Albers and Moholy-Nagy and the Martin Kippenberger exhibits, which were both amazing. I also met up with Doris and Tony for the Alexander Robotnick show at Plastic People, which was a lot of fun.

Unfortunately, I got some really bad food poisoning or something on Sunday, so I spent a whole day in bed when I wasn't vomiting, ugh. I was better the next day, which was good because we had to fly to Amsterdam. The day I was sick I loaned my camera to Brian and Joanna, and will post the pictures they took on Flickr when they finish uploading. The photos I took in London are on my photolog, of course.

Next update: Amsterdam, once I get the pictures posted and a little more downtime. Friends are in Berlin until Sunday, and there is much running around to be done.

Posted by j3s at 09:12 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

I've been here in Berlin almost a month now. At first it was exciting, then strange, then various permutations of fun, frustrating, somewhat comfortable, and increasingly more familiar. Now, on a sunny Saturday afternoon, I can look around and honestly say to myself that I am happy here.

To update the housing situation: we did find a new flat, not as nice as the one that fell through, but pretty sweet in a different way. For starters, it's a loft right off Rosenthaler Platz, which is very Mitte. The area feels similar to the Milwaukee North and Damen intersection in Wicker Park of Chicago. The flat is one huge room and a separate bedroom; I get the bedroom and Atom has the main room. We are subletting it for March and April, and the owner makes techno, so he left his turntables and records and stuff. It's really nice to live with a stereo again.

But the most interesting thing about this new flat is that a friend of mine from Chicago, Ben Goldberger, stayed here in this exact apartment when he lived in Berlin a few years ago. Such a small world.

Right now Atom is in London for DMZ, and to meet Rob, who is flying in from Chicago to visit; they'll both be back here tomorrow night. I woke up this morning to an empty apartment and realized how much I kind of miss living by myself. In my life I've had something like 25 roommates, but spent the last year and a half living alone for the first time, which I loved. So now I am enjoying a quiet flat all to myself, before I meet up with a friend tonight for dinner.

It's funny to think about how easily I am meeting people here, or at least, it's so much easier than when I lived in Sydney. Maybe it's because I'm at a very different stage of my life now than I was then; maybe it's just Berlin.

So yes, things are going well. Doris and Tony were in from London last weekend, which was great. It was fun hanging out with old friends again, and Tony's set with Karl at Berghain was a blast. We didn't even get to the club till 4am, and got called wusses for only staying out till 8am. That still kind of blows my mind. In Chicago, I went out more than almost anyone I knew - as a consequence of working at home and living alone, I had to go out every night or else I went nuts. I also stayed out later than most people (except the friends I was staying out till dawn with), yet here, I feel like a bloody amateur.

It's been a month and my sleep schedule is still so strange. I don't get tired till at least 5am, but I guess that works. A regular yoga practice helps with the (lifelong) insomnia, somewhat. My dreams reflect the strangeness of my biorhythms, or something like that. Rather vivid and intense.

Also, I've been thinking about Alicia a lot lately. I know there's a pretty strong chance that I wouldn't be here if it weren't for her. And while I love Berlin, I'd be in Chicago in an instant to have her back again. So, I guess I'm just feeling a bit conflicted, and kind of sad in an esoteric, unresolveable way. It'll pass. I am so lucky, so glad that she was in my life, and that her passing could inspire me to get off my ass and actually travel, like I have always wanted to do.

Posted by j3s at 05:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

We're apartment-hunting again. The place we're in now was a February sublet only, and March 1st is next week, so the search is on. I was getting nervous; the Germans I talked to seemed to think it would take forever to find a flat, and they were concerned that we only had a week. I guess that's because all of the listings come out on Saturday mornings, and the flats are only shown on Saturdays.

However, we're not looking for a permanent home yet. So far, I like the whole sublet thing. Phone and internet are already set up, and I don't have to buy a bed or kitchen supplies. It's just much easier. And the sublets here are shown on a more flexible schedule than regular flats; we saw two on a Tuesday night, one of which I loved and we will probably move into next week.

The big news is, it looks like we are moving to Mitte. Friedrichshain is much cheaper, with a very collegiate feel: people hanging out all the time, dog poop everywhere, still a lot of squatters. But I surprised myself by wanting to live for a little while in a nicer neighborhood, with cultural things that extend beyond clubs and cafes. Maybe I'm just getting older, though I am only 28.

Plus, the place in Mitte is really nice. Well-maintained, recently remodeled, and with walls and walls of books (which made me swoon, since I only brought three books with me). Most importantly, we have a lot of friends coming to visit in the next couple months, some of whom will be needing a place to stay for an extended period of time, and it'll be nice to be able to give them a comfortable crashpad.

Funny though, I have a few German friends who I'd almost be a little shy about showing the new place to because it is so nice and we are paying a little more for it. (It's still ridiculously cheap by Chicago standards.) A lot people here seem to be really broke, and sometimes almost suspect of money. When Atom played at a squat bar on Monday, I tried to pay for my massive 1.50 Euro beer with a 10 Euro bill; the bartender sneered and asked if I had anything smaller. Of course, this was a breakcore party; there are more expensive clubs and such, like the one we went to our second night here to see Nick play.

I'm still having a bit of difficulty adjusting to the fact that I'm broke now. I quit my job three weeks ago and don't have a new one (note to self: start looking for more freelance writing gigs). In Chicago, I was used to having money and spending it on rounds of drinks and expensive sushi dinners without thinking twice. Here, I have to keep reminding myself that I am broke, partially because it's a difficult habit to break, and partially because even without a job I still have more money than a lot of the people I meet.

One of the reasons the clubs can go till the next morning or afternoon is because so few people work normal jobs in Berlin. Many are artists and musicians who can sleep till mid-afternoon and do their work at night. Others are on the welfare system, which is really different than the one in the US. It pays your rent, health care, and utilities, plus gives you 300 Euros a month for food, and you can stay on it as long as you want. Basically if you live cheaply, which you can do so easily and somewhat comfortably here, there's no real incentive to get off welfare. It's kind of no surprise to me then, that Berlin has a 20% unemployment rate. Not that I'm complaining; I didn't come here to get a job.

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Update: We didn't get the sweet place in Mitte. Damn. Back to looking...

Posted by j3s at 01:09 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Wow, it's sunny out! Today is the first day I've seen the sun since I arrived in Berlin. A lot of that is because of the jetlag and clubbing; until Monday I was sleeping so late that I'd get up just as it was getting dark - around 4pm. But mostly, Berlin in the winter is very, very gray. I took some pictures of my neighborhood yesterday afternoon that look like they were shot in black and white, but really they were full spectrum.

Speaking of clubbing, there is so much good music here it's ridiculous. We haven't stayed out past 5 or 6am, which makes us big wusses by Berlin standards. Friday night we saw Ricardo Villalobos at Maria, a huge warehouse club that reminded me of the halcyon days of Drop Bass rave parties. Two chill rooms, a main and second stage, even a small separate room where a Japanese couple made spring rolls to order. While there, this kid Philip that we met at last year's Detroit Electronic Music Festival recognized Atom, and the next day he had us over for breakfast (at 4pm), and then took us on a tour of the city.

For dinner we ate at a place in Prenzlauer Berg, a neighborhood that reminds me of Wicker Park: used to be "edgy" but is now expensive and gentrified, selling cool as a commodity. (As opposed to my neighborhood, Friedrichshain - still kind of dirty, very cheap, lots of squats and clubs.) Anyway, Weinerei, the dinner place in Prenzlauer Berg, basically charges you 1 Euro when you arrive. With that, you can drink as many glasses of wine and eat from the excellent vegetarian communal dinner they prepare, and when you leave, you pay what you felt you owe. Something like that would never work in the US, but they seem to be doing really well here.

After dinner we went to a long-running squat party, which was packed, and then to see Ellen Allien DJ. She didn't play as well as I've seen her previously, though she seemed to be having some equipment problems. Unfortunately, I didn't know that Baby Ford was playing that night as well, otherwise we would have gone to see him, but Philip told us how to find all of the good techno events so I'm not missing anything else unless by choice.

On Monday we got up early (10am) and headed to Potsdamer Platz to get tickets for the Berlin Film Festival, which started the day we arrived. Specifically, we wanted tickets for the world premiere of V is for Vendetta; after standing in line for an hour, we got them! The screening was at 10:30pm, and we arrived right when Natalie Portman did; I stood about 10 feet from her on the red carpet. Hilarious.

The movie itself was pretty good. Very Hollywood, but well-made. It hit you over the head with some way to overt symbolism, but I was entertained, and it made some good points. Afterwards we missed the last train (they stop running at 1:30am here except on weekends, when they run all night), which gave me an excuse to photograph the empty station. It made me recall the Ghost Stations that existed here when the wall was up; it's strange to think that was all not so long ago. I live in an area that was formerly East Berlin, and walking around, it's difficult to forget that so much has happened here.

Posted by j3s at 02:03 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Last time I was in Berlin (about five years ago), it took me only three days to say "I could totally live here." Well, it's been three days since I moved to Berlin, and I can say I love it here. I'm done with most of the difficult stuff: we have an apartment, I got a cell phone, set up a wireless network, and found the grocery store. Three days and I'm already comfortable. Next week begins the routine: work on writing/poems for three hours a day (while Atom works on music), and learn German with Rosetta Stone for an hour a day.

It felt pretty good to pare down my possessions when I left Chicago. I kept a few things at my mom's house, gave a lot away to friends, and sold the rest. I came here with one small suitcase, a carry-on, and a laptop bag; everything I own right now fits into those.

When I moved to Sydney for six months in college I brought two huge suitcases, though one of them was full of 65 cassette tapes, about 60 of which were drum & bass mixes. No wonder I got sick of that music and got more into techno. Hurray for mp3's: they make travelling with music so much easier. I might buy some computer speakers and a sub eventually, but right now I'm just using my laptop's built-in speakers. They're kind of crappy, but fortunately I converted all of my classical CDs to mp3 before I left, and most symphonies and concertos sound better from my computer speakers than microhouse and electro.

Speaking of which, last night my friend Nick from New York was playing at a club here, Weekend, which was a lot of fun. The space was sweet: 12th floor of a corporate office tower, glass walls, good sound system. It would be a great place to see the sunrise, though we only stayed till a little after 4am. Apparently Berlin doesn't have very strict liquor laws, because clubs here can stay open all night, and the kiosks at train stations sell beer and Jagermeister.

I'm still a little jetlagged, but excited for this weekend. So much good music! Tonight Goodiepal, who records on the same label as V/VM (I love love love V/VM) is playing, which we might hit before going to see Richard Villalobos and ZIP. Tomorrow Ellen Allien is playing, and Sunday night is Dan Bell. Atom and I high-fived each other multiple times last night because: it's good to be here.

Posted by j3s at 06:14 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)